A woman (Rachel Dratch) with a failed surgery asks Dr. Daniel Maccabee (Adam Sandler) if he can fix it. Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) and Daniel try to keep it together.

Roxanne (Salma Hayek), Sally (Maria Bello) and Deanne (Maya Rudolph) meet their new attractive gay yoga teacher.

During a mission against a Palestinian terrorist group, Zohan (Adam Sandler) faces their leader and his longtime enemy, Fatoush “Phantom” Hakbarah (John Turturro), who just like Zohan, has superhuman abilities.

Elizabeth (Cameron Diaz) is talking to Lynn (Phyllis Smith) when Scott (Justin Timberlake) arrives. Elizabeth asks Lynn to grab her some milk so that she leaves the two of them alone. A few seconds later, Amy (Lucy Punch) arrives and starts talking about how she helped a little girl, how her advice could be used with Elizabeth, and the breast job she wants to do. Amy fakes an apology and then offers to walk Scott back to class.

Katherine (Jennifer Aniston), pretending to be Devlin, meets with Danny (Adam Sandler) and Palmer (Brooklyn Decker) and gives them her blessing.

Hancock (Will Smith) is surrounded by other inmates while trying to go to his jail cell. As they don’t move, he shoves one man’s head into another man’s butt.

Reporter Babe Bennett (Winona Ryder) asks her co-worker Marty (Allen Covert) to pretend to steal her purse in sight of Deeds (Adam Sandler), who "rescues" Babe. Deeds walks with Babe and he asks her out for dinner and she accepts, pretending to be "Pam Dawson", a school nurse from Iowa.

After school, Peter (Tom Holland) puts his Spider-Man Suit on and goes around New York City to help people.

Dr. Daniel Maccabee (Adam Sandler) takes his assistant Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) shopping and to the hairdresser.

Amanda (Cameron Diaz) dumps her boyfriend (Edward Burns) and leaves him hanging outside. She then goes upstairs and asks if he cheated on her. Even though the gardener told him not to do it, he says yes, but puts part of the blame on Amanda as she does not even cry. Amanda goes downstairs and punches and slaps Ethan in the face.

Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) shows off his shooting skills to Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) and talks to him about rule number 2: always double-tap.

Dale (Seth Rogen) and Paul (James Franco) want to get out through a ventilation tube, so Dale lets Paul climb on him to get into the vent. However, that’s when Ted (Gary Cole) arrives and starts shooting at Dave. Paul manages to escape using the vent system and tries to help Dave. Dave is attacked by a ninja who was hiding in the ceiling, but he manages to kill him. Dave then gets the higher ground and jumps on Ted. They start fighting with the fire extinguisher, and Dave grabs Ted’s nipples and squeezes them, making him scream in pain. Ted bites off Dave’s ear, who also screams in pain. The corrupt cop (Rosie Perez) gets shot by Ken (Ken Jeong), but she also shoots him multiple times.

Shelley (Anna Farris) introduces herself to Natalie (Emma Stone) and offers to become the new Zeta housemother. Natalie first refuses, even though the sorority will soon lose its charter. She will soon change her mind when she discovers that Shelley knows how to attract boys as she does yoga in front of the Zeta house.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Steve (Matthew McConaughey) spend time together and accidentally break a statue. They try to put on glue to fix it, but a security guard arrives and asks Steve not to touch the statue, while he is trying to stick the broken part on the statue. However, it doesn't work, and Mary tries to take off the glue that Steve has all over his hands. They apologize for their angry words and soon become friends.

After being fired from all local businesses and having their utilities cut off, Dick (Jim Carrey) and Jane (Téa Leoni) are forced to sell off their possessions and take off-the-books jobs to make ends meet; the latter of which leads to Dick being mistakenly deported to Mexico when INS agents raid the factory he is working at.

Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) tests his new abilities by climbing the walls of different buildings and swinging from one roof to another using his spider webs.

Amanda (Cameron Diaz) tries to drive in England on the wrong side of the road for the first time and almost gets hit by a car and a truck. She goes to the local shop where she buys recomforting food and drinks. She lights a fire, puts on a good pair of pajamas, and tries to get entertainment by any means possible. She just puts on some music and starts singing over it.

Officer Edwards (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) interrogate Jeebs, an alien shop owner, about the sale of illegal weapons. Agent K then “neuralyzes” officer Edwards to make him forget about the encounter but leaves him a card to find the Men In Black Agency and see if he can qualify.

Dickson (Ice Cube) has been kidnapped by Mercedes (Jillian Bell) and Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) chase them. Schmidt chases them with a lamborghini, while Jenko runs by foot. Schmidt manages to catch them, but Mercedes has left Dickson handcuffed in the car while she escapes, shooting at them.

The core of the Washington Monument explodes and traps Ned (Jacob Batalon) and his classmates in an elevator. Peter (Tom Holland) saves them.

Shelley (Anna Farris) crashes the meeting of the Panhellenic Council and gives a heartfelt speech about her and the Zetas. By demonstrating the values of love and acceptance of the Zeta sisters, she manages to save the sorority by recruiting the necessary new pledges into the house.

John Hancock (Will Smith) and Mary Embrey (Charlize Theron) fight each other in a violent battle that spreads across the city, while Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) witnesses the fight from his office.

Each player (Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan, Kevin Hart, Jack Black) discovers the strengths and weaknesses of their character. They also find a map of Jumanji and try to decrypt it.

Agent J (Will Smith) is stopped by two cops that racially profile him as not worthy of having such a nice car.

Saul goes back inside the farmhouse and ends up fighting Carol (Rosie Perez) and he ultimately wins. Just as he is about to finish her off, Budlofsky (Kevin Corrigan) fires a shot. He decides to go home to his wife rather than get more involved. As he’s leaving, he’s shot by Matheson (Craig Robinson), who is about to shoot Saul when he is rammed by Red's (Danny McBride) Daewoo Lamas. He celebrates his victory when Carol shoots him.

After Shelly (Anna Farris) joins the Zeta Alpha Zeta sorority, she shows Natalie (Emma Stone), a nerdy and intellectual Zeta sister, how to be sexy while carwashing and more specifically, how to attract boys while doing so.

Danny (Adam Sandler) privately meets with Katherine's (Jennifer Aniston) kids, Maggie (Bailee Madison) and Michael (Griffin Gluck), to get them to play the role of his children. Each demands something in return, and after negotiating, the deal is made.

Olive Penderghast (Emma Stone) lies to her best friend Rhiannon Abernathy (Aly Michalka) about losing her virginity to a college boy. But Rhiannon is not the only one listening...

Wichita (Emma Stone), Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) create a trap for zombies, but it turns out there are more zombies than expected.

Zohan (Adam Sandler) goes into a hairdressing salon and tries to find a job, however, he is not qualified for the job and does pushups instead.

Jamie (Mila Kunis), a headhunter, picks up Dylan (Justin Timberlake) from the airport to take him to his interview.

Edgar (Vincent D'Onofrio) is killed and gets his body taken by an alien creature.

Mrs. Griffith (Lisa Kudrow) reveals to Olive (Emma Stone) that she slept with Micah (Cam Gigandet) and transmitted Chlamydia to him. Olive also learns that Micah accused her of transmitting it to him in order to protect Mrs. Griffith.

Elizabeth (Cameron Diaz) does a sexy car wash outside the high school. The students and teachers look at her, happy and enjoying the view. A police car passes and even the driver is distracted by Elizabeth. Scott (Justin Timberlake) arrives. Elizabeth asks him out but Scott declines the invitation.

The group (Dwayne Johnson, Jack Black, Karen Gillan, Nick Jonas, Kevin Hart) is in a helicopter but they almost crash and are chased by rhinos.

Zohan (Adam Sandler) witnesses a man in his car crashing into a truck. He interferes and kicks the businessman. Then, we see two women in a cab with a very talkative and loud driver.

Deeds (Adam Sandler) is playing tennis with Chuck (Peter Gallagher), and after the match, Marty (Allen Covert), a production assistant from Inside Access, tells Chuck he has information that would allow him to get rid of Deeds.

Ray (Jason Bateman) tries to teach Hancock (Will Smith) good manners while he is behind bars so that he can redeem himself and be more appreciated by the community.

Kurt (Chris Rock) and Malcolm (Tim Meadows) are chatting. Malcolm says his son wants to invite Kurt's daughter out. He reminds him of how they were with girls when they were young. Kurt dislikes it and strangles him. Meanwhile, Lenny (Adam Sandler) rides an elliptical trainer while chatting with Marcus (David Spade) when Eric (Kevin James) arrives and scares him which causes him to fall off the bike.

Dylan (Justin Timberlake) and Jamie (Mila Kunis) are watching a movie. Jamie says she misses sex. When she gets down to pick up the rubbish from their meal, Dylan looks at her butt. He suggests to her a relationship without the complications of it. Realizing they both are quite attracted to the other, they come to the conclusion that this idea could actually work. Jamie makes Dylan swear that it will never be more than sex and that whatever happens they will remain friends.